“What’s The Point In Living Anyways? I’d Rather Be Dead”
July 19th, 2011
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by Belton Lubas · Filed Under: Boot Camp · Bootcamp · Exercise · Mindset · Weight Loss · fat loss · health and fitness
I wrote this blog on a plane leaving Orlando. This was long overdue to be published.
Here it is:
As I sit in this airplane I am contemplating some things I have picked up from the recent seminar here in Orlando. It’s always these fitness seminars that hit me pretty good. I guess if you’re learning something then it’s worthwhile. But I’m not here to discuss seminar topics, okay maybe a couple later down the road. I want to talk to you about some events that happened before I left. Plus, it’s been awhile since I’ve written a blog. I haven’t even titled the blog yet. It will come. When it hits me, I’ll emphasize that at “that moment”, and it will be named! What I do want to talk about is : why events, or life changing situations occur the way they do. Why me? Why you? Why has this happened to me? Is this fair? Why am I this way? Will I ever get to change? I want to also emphasize that I am a naturally caring person but there are even limits in caring in that at one point you are just a vampire sucking away at my energy and life source. Wait Belton, I don’t get it. Neither do I! Yet you ask me, challenge me, and seek an answer. I don’t pretend to know everything, but I do know what answer I will give you based off of my experiences. And you know what’s cool? My experiences are right and true to me and only me. I only have them to rely on. So I believe it, and it is up to you to take learning moments from it just as I do from these seminars. Otherwise, don’t waste my time.
Quote :”What’s the point, I should have been dead. Probably better that way…”
Ah! There’s my title! “I’d rather be dead!” Nice dark ring to it eh? No not really. And you know why? Because there is a story to it. Listen up kids.
I was training a friend and client named Mary. Mary and I have accomplished alot together, and so sessions are fun as I kick her ass, get her results, and we get to catch up on life AFTER we smack talk each other. It was a beautiful day and so I took her outside to the grassy area underneath the power lines. LOL! Of course that was a safe idea being underneath all that electricity. (I know right?…btw I hate it when people say that stupid line). When I think about it, I was probably trying to create a Marvel Superhero in Mary to represent Element 5 Fitness. Kinda like an Electro girl! Anyways, as we were busy training and growing a third arm due to exposing ourselves to gamma radiation and what not, this creepy guy hobbled over to where we were and literally stood there and stared. He stood there for like 30 minutes just stared! I mean Mary is a looker and all (of course it was from her wonderful training at Element 5 Fitness) and so I didn’t blame him for staring, or maybe it was my devilish good looks glinting from the sun that decided to peek out in it’s normal once a month grandiose presentation. It was actually very hard to ignore him. Mary and I decided that something wasn’t right with him and we decided not to write him off as a creep but rather a mentally/physically challenged person. Upon close observation as our walking lunges closed in on the distance between us and him, we did notice that he was “not all there”. He finally decided to approach us. He started a slow process from peeling himself off the pole that he was leaning against, which really was his support system from his disabilities and literally hobbled over to us like a zombie.
Mind you I am trained in Zombie tactical combat so I was ready to retaliate but I was a little freaked out. But as he got closer something was familiar about his gait. It looked all too familiar from my years of experience as a trainer, rehab work, and most of all my father who suffered from a stroke and is paralyzed on one side of his body. This man had suffered some sort of paralysis on the right side of his body. Seeing that walk brought some hurtful anger as I remembered watching my Dad go through therapy, me taking him through some of those exercises, and me holding him as we walked together towards the altar during my wedding day since he was my best man. I say hurtful anger and brought those two words together for a reason. Anyways, the guy comes up to me and asks me how I would train someone like him in self defense considering he had limited movement on the one side of his body. I kindly told him that I was training someone who is paying for my time and that I promised to answer his question if he stopped by the gym. I was slightly perplexed because I felt his question was really a smokescreen to some other topic or question. Truth be told, I watched him hobble off across the street towards Jack in the Box and secretly hoped that he was just a head case and that he wouldn’t bother me so that I can leave the gym in time. Yes I know…..very selfish. But I wasn’t vibing him and I felt that something was off about it all.
Mary and I finished up and I did not see the guy around. I was elated thinking I didn’t have to deal with him. We returned to the gym and put away the equipment and I say good-bye to Mary. I thought to myself “Yes! Almost out of here!” But no sooner as my internal celebration began I turned around towards the gym entrance and the guy was hobbling in.
Let me get to the point of this story. Go back to the QUOTE “What’s the point, I should have been dead. Probably better that way…”
So the gentleman and I sit down and I’m having this conversation with this guy. I sit there listening to this 26 year old (I was shocked he was that young!!) talk about how he ended up paralyzed on his right side of his body. He told me about how he was a young guy riding his bike leisurely when another person who was driving towards him was texting on their phone did not see him. The person ALMOST hit him but he took evasive action and swerved off to only end up in a deep ditch. Something must have happened in the process of falling into the ditch when he hit his head that caused a stroke. As he was telling me this story, I knew he didn’t want exercises, or talk about self-defense tactics. I also thought of my Father. Here I am thinking I had hurtful angry feelings (as I had said earlier); but that was nothing compared to what this guy was going through. He threw some very very tough questions at me and put me in a very uncomfortable position. He asked me this:
- “Why did this have to happen to me?”
- “This isn’t fair! I’m only 26. What’s the point in living anyways?”
- “I can’t find a job, a girlfriend, or live a fulfilling life with my situation”
So, place yourself in my shoes. You are listening to this and you are caught in a rock and a hard place. I mean c’mon, what do you say at this point? I took a chance. I told him this:
Listen buddy, Life isn’t fair. Yes you are right that it sucks and it is what it is. But Nothing in life in MY OPINION is an accident. Everything happens for a reason. I’m not trying to sound mean but what happened to you is for a reason…including the very fact that you are sitting in front of me right now. That person decided to drive their car that day. That person decided to text and not keep their eyes on the road. You decided to ride your bike that day. It is what it is. We cannot dwell on the what-ifs and what could have been avoided, etc, etc. It is what it is. Que sera sera, deal with it, it’s the past. You talk about not living and ask if it is worth it. You my friend are being selfish to those who care about you by thinking about those things. Get that out of your head. I also FIRMLY believe that we are given only what we can handle and nothing more than that. You are strong for having to deal with what you are dealing with. But the question now is what are you going to do about it? Many people are maximizing their opportunities, having jobs, pursuing relationships, being involved with hobbies and activities. But to do nothing and accept defeat is unacceptable. Your negative mindset is a poison to yourself. Get over it. You want to learn self defense to protect yourself? You want to learn exercises to improve your mobility? You wonder if there is something that can improve your current physical state? Don’t worry about defending yourself from others. Defend yourself from YOURSELF. Block that negativity. Is there a miracle exercise or exercises you can do to improve your state? How about just move, stay active keep that brain stimulated. The body is a magnificent thing. We think we know everything about the body and yet science is confounded as to what the mind and body can do. The human spirit is strong and so you must use that to your advantage. Let go of the past and stop wasting time. Because of all the variables in life that you CAN control….You cannot control time.
He left pondering. He didn’t live here. He was visiting family. When he left, I gave him my card and said that I am available to him for anything and to keep in touch. HE said “I’ll try”. I said NO you don’t try. YOU DO!.
I truly hope somewhere in Eastern Washington this man has found an answer. I spoke from the heart and there was much much more I had wanted to say. I think I made an impact and I think he got it? I hope he did. As I walked out of the gym and recapped what I had said to this man I thought one last thing before putting all this to a blog….
I was talking to you…I was talking to my Dad…I was looking at the man in the mirror. I’m talking to the people who come to Element 5 Fitness, bootcamps, Underground Strength Training, MMA, etc…who give us a goal and excuses along with it. I’m still talking about YOU!
What’s your excuse? I heard his…
Your Fitness Coach,
Belton








